When you hear the word “summer” your mind probably thinks of shorts, sandals, beach time, and—for my singles—summer romance!

There’s just something sexy in the air during the summer, and it has a way of giving you the courage to try new things like attend single events and parties or create that online dating profile you’ve been procrastinating on. So you take the leap and start putting yourself out there.

As quickly as the flash of a firefly, you might meet an incredible person. Instantly, you hit it off and the sparks are flying! The two of you are spending those summer days and nights cuddling, going out, and enjoying (almost) every moment with each other. It’s as though time has stopped completely.

You’re about two months into the summer when a niggling question pops into your mind.

Where is this summer romance headed?

You think you can see yourself in a relationship with this person, but you aren’t sure if they feel the same. To make the most of this sizzling fling, here are 3 mistakes to avoid when you’re in the midst of a summer romance and undecided as to where it’s going.

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Summer Romance Sabotage #1: Not Talking About Expectations

The biggest mistake you can do is let your assumptions (and your hormones) do the thinking for you. It’s unrealistic to expect that you’re the only person or new significant other that person is seeing or that because your connection is so strong, you both want the same things.

Expectations are just thoughts and ideas in your mind and not necessarily known unless you voice them. Singles think that by talking things over, it will be the kiss of death for a romance. In fact, it’s the complete opposite. Having a conversation about expectations and boundaries will save you from awkward moments and keep things as light and airy as the warm summer breeze you both are enjoying.

Summer Romance Sabotage #2: All Your Dates Are With Friends

The more the merrier, right? Yes, any activity with friends is guaranteed to be more fun. That said, how are you really supposed to get to know someone if you’re always hanging out in a group? If your intention is for this romance to possibly become something more, then spending one-on-one time is important.

When you’re trying to figure out if the romance has a long shelf life, the bond you form with one another is a telltale sign. “Future-tripping” isn’t something I recommend, but when you’re trying to determine if this summer fling should be a real thing, look past the honeymoon phase and ask yourself if this is someone you can see yourself both building a life with and being able to survive future relationship challenges.

It goes without saying that sex is important to a relationship, but make sure that lovemaking isn’t the only one-on-one time you’re spending together unless it’s the arrangement you’ve both come up with.

Summer Romance Sabotage #3: Social Media Creeping

The magic of summer romance can be intoxicating. One of the biggest mistakes you can make when navigating a fling is to make it more than what it is. If you’ve both agreed that you will live in the moment and appreciate each other’s company for what it is, then don’t try to renege or change your partner’s mind.

Typically, the thought of “Let’s be friends on social media” crosses your mind, but keeping tabs on a past flame can dangerously create feelings of resentment (especially if you wanted more), ultimately ruining that summer memory. Once the summer is over, treasure the memory and move on.

Often, the magic of a summer romance happens because it unfolds in a blissful environment—the phenomenon that you see all the time thanks to reality shows like The Bachelorette or The Bachelor. It’s easy to get swept in a surge of new emotions, but when it’s time to get back to the daily 9 to 5 grind, the airyness of a summer romance disappears, reality sets in, and heartbreak could take its place if you don’t avoid these mistakes.


Incredible Love is a boutique Matchmaking and Love Coaching company working with intelligent, accomplished and successful singles ready for an Incredible Partnership to share life’s special moments. We’ve helped hundreds of professional singles conquer their dating blindspots, become effective communicators and meet their match so they can experience Incredible Love.

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