The objective is always the same: to find the one. We take risks and subject ourselves to the rules of a game set by some unknown entity… Why? Shouldn’t dating be as simple as knowing what we want and just going after it? Yes, it should be. But there’s a catch. For very selfish commercial reasons, our new love and dating teachers, the mainstream media, only want us to learn about the “happily ever after,” and about how painful getting to that point has to be. Focusing only on those two outcomes programs us to believe that dating is a game and nothing but.
Dating: Game Rules
The media shows us the rules of the dating game and how only the smartest players win the prize. So many of the players are so concerned with navigating the rules or avoiding the pain of the traps, they miss getting to the “happily ever after” part everyone desires.
How many times have you been on a date, told your friends about it and they immediately laid out the “ground rules” for you? They say things like, “Don’t call him first,” or “If 48 hours passed and you don’t hear back, send a text and say hi,” and all this other bullshit.
If dating is a game, can’t you set your own rules (or none at all)?
This “game” we play is a result of collective thinking and assumptions made based in our past experiences, which then shape our lens of perception. Truth be told, past experiences paint a picture for us and gives a frame of reference on how to perceive the world. That doesn’t mean that because our dating experience was “X” in the past, that our outcome will always be “Y” in the future. Perception implies relativity, which means we can create our own experience void of others’ opinions and rules.
Understanding the power of perception is important, but the real breakthroughs come from realization. Realization is the combination of filtering our understanding, our feelings, and our instincts through a lens of discernment to arrive at a real answer that works for us. How many people giving advice and setting rules for dating have reached their own level of realization? I assure you not many because most people don’t take the time to sit with their thoughts to see the lessons their experiences bring.
How to Win, Really…
If you are re-entering, or even new, to the dating scene, it is important to know what you are looking for so it can clearly be communicated.
Operating out of collective assumptions keeps you unhappy and spinning your wheels in the dating “game” forever. Get rid of all of the chatter of rules and sequences others are telling you are the right moves to get “the one.” That chatter is people projecting their own perceptions onto you. Don’t let “them” ruin your unique dating experience.
There’s no formula. It’s your game. Wearing short skirts and heels to make an impression when you really enjoy wearing jeans and T-shirt is the simplest example I can give you. Show up as who you are and don’t aim to make an impression at the surface; aim to leave an impression and impact on that person’s life.
Remember, we don’t need to travel this journey on our own. This is my life’s work. Allow me to support you and help you leave a lasting impression in your own terms. Let’s chat and discuss how to manifest the love you crave in your life.