Let’s be real… 2020 threw many industries and normal social behaviors, like dating, for a loop. From social distancing to wearing masks, how is anyone to find love in this post-pandemic society? Modern dating may be a bit more of an adventure in today’s culture, but what is love, if not one of the greatest adventures of our lives?
Have We Become Lazier in Modern Dating: Summary
- With the end of the pandemic nearing, Paul and I discuss the future of modern dating and relationships.
- Learn how online dating has influenced modern dating and changed the rules of courtship.
- Ready to meet your match? Join Incredible Connections and let’s see who we have for you.
Full Transcript:
Michelle G
Today, I have a very special guest with me. He is the host of Celebs Go Dating and Married at First Sight UK edition, as well as USA Today’s top columnist… Paul Brunson. Hi there, Paul.
Paul Brunson
What’s up young lady? Good to see you. Good to see you. How are you doing?
Michelle G
I’m doing well. Thank you. It’s so nice to see you. It’s just, it’s a bummer. I can’t actually see you and touch you and give you a big hug, like last time. But it’s nice to have you here.
Paul Brunson
I know, I tell you what, this pandemic that we’re in, right? Not a good thing. Not a good thing. But I think we’re coming to the end of it.
Michelle G
I agree. I think there is light at the end of the tunnel for many people. There is definitely light.
Paul Brunson
I was just saying, yeah, for some people. And then even on top of it, some people have not done any of this. Some people have completely disregarded this and gone on about their life. But I guess we can get into that a little bit.
Michelle G
Yeah, because it has affected modern dating and relationships. Like you said, well, we’ll go there. So Paul, you… I had the pleasure of meeting you a couple of years back at one of our industry conferences. I know you’ve been in the industry matchmaking, love dating and relationships for over a decade. And you’re one of LinkedIn’s top voices. I know that you know… Just knowing more about you, one of the things that stood out to me about you is that you had the opportunity to work with these billionaires, and that transformed your life. Tell us a little bit about that experience and how you got to where you are today.
Paul Brunson
Yeah, absolutely. You know, working with billionaires, but also interviewing billionaires has been, you know, the best education for me. As one of my jobs, because I’m Jamaican, so I have 10 jobs, okay? And one of them, you mentioned is a columnist for USA Today. And there, I’ve interviewed more billionaires than any journalist. So I really have a good feel for what billionaires do, why they do it. And the reason why, you know, I’m so intrigued by them, is because, you know, you have to keep them like they’re exceptional, like, whether you like them or not, they’re exceptional. Today, by the way, did you hear the news? You know, as we’re recording this, you saw the news about Kanye West?
Michelle G
I did not and I had on GMA, but I did not hear it. And so if it wasn’t on GMA or Today, I didn’t hear it.
Paul Brunson
Alright, so officially today, Kanye West, at least his publicists have now promoted this, that he’s now worth $6.6 billion dollars, which makes him the wealthiest African American who’s ever walked this planet. And that’s really interesting when you think about that. And I think the reason why it’s so intriguing to me is that most of us are entrepreneurs or in business. And the score in business is basically revenue. And basically, you know, net worth to a certain degree. And so these are folks who have reached the top 1% of the 1% of the 1%. So that’s the reason why I was so intrigued by them. And you know, how they’ve changed my life is just simply learning the habits, watching certain things that are done, because I will say this… The most successful people do things roughly the same way. And whether that’s in business, whether that’s socially, or whether that’s in romantic relationships, the most successful people typically do things the same way.
Michelle G
Wow. And so as you’ve been interviewing all these wealthy, affluent, very influential people, give us a golden nugget. What’s the one thing that if you had to start all over tomorrow, that you would start with.
Paul Brunson
Ah man, I would start with like, 20. I’d be greedy, because they’re greedy, too. So I’d be greedy. But what I say one concept that I learned from Oprah Winfrey, and NBC CEO, so these are two of the billionaires that I worked for. And what I’ve emulated in my life, is this whole principle of never eating alone. And the whole idea around that is that most of us get our information from, you know, watching news channels or reading the newspaper. But whenever we do that, what we’re really getting is the news that happened yesterday, or the news that happened earlier in the day, right? It’s news that has already happened. But if you can assemble a group of people, even if they’re not the most influential people, just simply people who have different ideas, different areas of expertise, where you could put them all together, and then listen to them talk. Listen to them, debate out ideas. What you’re actually getting is the news that will happen tomorrow. So, never eating alone. It’s a concept that I learned from these billionaires. There’s also a great book, it’s written by Keith Ferrazzi. And it’s called Never Eat Alone. And it expands on that principle. So that’s what I would do.
Michelle G
I love that. And speaking, I think that’s even a great golden nugget for people who are looking for a romantic relationship. Never Eat Alone, engage in conversations with people around you. I think so. So often we go to a place well, pre COVID, right, we go to places and we’re so busy looking at our phone, and we’re just there to eat. And maybe we talk to the bartender, but we forget that there’s other people around us and interacting with other people. You just never know what doors and opportunities are gonna present.
Paul Brunson
You never know. Like, I always live by, throughout all of my matchmaking, I’ve lived by this very simple premise. And that is… Love comes at unexpected times, and it comes in unexpected packages. Yeah, if you could just open your mind to those two concepts, your whole world is going to change. So I completely agree with you.
Michelle G
God, I… that resonates so much. And, you know, let’s talk about how love has changed through the lockdown through the pandemic. And we’re getting ready to now re-emerge in a post-pandemic world. I know that you work with a lot of celebrities working in both Celebs Go Dating and also Married at First Sight, you’re dealing with a lot of singles. Let’s talk about first… the singles. When it comes to relationships, what do you think is going to change and how we form relationships post the pandemic?
Paul Brunson
Hmm, that’s a good one. Good one, you know. So here’s one thing that we have to really embrace. And this is a concept that’s not very popular. A matter of fact, I was recently on Good Morning America. And I talked about this concept. And I got a lot of people messaging me afterwards that they were a little upset. And they were all from Silicon Valley. And here’s the reason why is that so the pandemic has clearly made us all reliant on technology. Right? You and I we’re talking through Zoom, you know, it’s one of these, we have to use technology. So when it comes to modern dating, we have to use technology. Where do we go? The Facebooks of the world, the Tinders of the world, the Bumbles of the world, right? And what we have to make sure that we never separate is the fact that those entities are FOR-profit entities. Facebook is one of the biggest… People don’t realize Facebook is the largest player right now in the modern dating space, right? They are a trillion dollar, or nearly a trillion dollar company. You have the Match group… owns Match.com, owns Tinder, owns Hinge owns, absolute myriad of entities. They’re worth about 50 billion. And then you have Bumble, who just went public, right? Worth now about 20 billion in terms of, you know, when when this, you know, when we’re recording this. Now, these are for-profit companies that are now responsible for delivering profits, right? They’re, they’re responsible for this. How do they get their profits? Well, they get their profits by making sure that the users use their products more, whether that be you staying on them longer throughout the day, staying at them longer throughout the years. And the reason why I bring this up is because the technology companies, I believe, have the largest influence over modern dating. As a result of the pandemic, we’re more reliant on technology. The technology companies now need to make money. So what’s happening, what we’re beginning to see, I think we’re in a very precarious situation, where a lot of our dating behavior is being shaped by these large for-profit entities.
Michelle G
You know, it’s interesting to talk about behavior specifically, because one thing that I talk about with clients and I just talk about when I’m talking to singles, people talk about how they’re so fatigued by, “Oh, I’m so tired of swiping, I’m so tired of this.” And what I say to them, is like, well, if you really think about it, you’re doing that behavior all the time, whether or not you’re on a dating app. Why? When you go, when you’re on Facebook, you’re scrolling through, and you’re swiping left and right to look at pictures. When you’re on Instagram, what are you doing? You’re scrolling through. So that behavior is a behavior that we’re constantly getting; receiving some sort of dopamine form. And as we get used to it, that’s the same behavior that we’re using to be able to find our partner. So what happens by the time you log on to Tinder or you log on to Bumble while you’re sitting at the grocery line or waiting and you’re just kind of scrolling through… it’s the same mindless mentality, so I really liked that you said that because I I agree with you. Technology has become if not already is so predominant in our lives. Everything’s scheduled around technology. Almost everything. Oh, wait, let me look at my calendar. Oh, wait, yeah, I forgot to turn off the lights. Let me go ahead and hit Alexa Home. Oh, everything is becoming about technology. And I have to say this is a very interesting point. And I wonder where it will go in the future? You haven’t seen the episode of Black Mirror?
Paul Brunson
You described? I’ve seen… Black Mirror is one of my favorites. Yeah. UK, it’s a UK-based show, too. I love it, absolutely love it.
Michelle G
Yeah. And that’s a reality. I mean, it could be a reality where now you’re getting matched based off these two, I guess, algorithms, and then it’s gonna tell you how long it’s gonna last. And you know what I mean? It’s a little bit scary. I prefer a little bit more of the organic approach. So don’t get me wrong. I’m still a proponent of online dating, because it allows people to connect with other people. But like anything else, I think it’s a matter of regulating how much we are on it and recognizing that we shouldn’t be logging on every five or 10 minutes, just because we’re bored and we’re standing in line somewhere.
Paul Brunson
Well you know, you just brought up an interesting point. And I want to ask you a question here. So you say that you are more of a fan of organic, the organic approach. What is the organic approach to modern dating? What is that?
Michelle G
So I’m an 80s girl… 80s, 90s girl. I’m dating myself, not that I’m that old, but I’m 39. So an organic approach. What I remember was when it was back in the day in the 90s, in the early 2000s, where you see a guy, a guy sees you, you have this little banter back and forth. You both come together. There wasn’t all this pressure; it was like, I’m getting to know you. I appreciate it that a gentleman would approach me or if, I was interested, for me to approach him. And just the ability to be able to just meet, like, without the pressure of like, oh my god, I’m going on this date or oh my god, I have to meet this person. For me, organic is when you will allow it to happen. And even if you have an interest and it doesn’t happen, there’s always something you can take away from that experience.
Paul Brunson
So to bring it back to the 80s, bring it back to the 90s… I’ll tell you, you know, the music was better. That’s for sure.
Michelle G
Hip hop was better.
Paul Brunson
Oh, man, hip hop was better. I mean, I was you know, I was I was… Where were you? Were you in New York or no?
Michelle G
I was in Brooklyn. So I grew up most of my life in Brooklyn. So Brooklyn for me. I was listening to Erykah Badu, the Roots, Sugar Hill Gang. Like, that was my jam.
Paul Brunson
So I was born in Queens, you know. I mean, we had, like, everybody that you just said. And from the hip hop side, it was like, LL Cool J, it was Run DMC. It was a different time. And I oftentimes wonder, like, are we just nostalgic about that? Because I remember my parents saying, aw man, this rap is nothing. You should have been around to hear Marvin Gaye or, you know, Felonious Monk, or, you know, folks like this. And they would reminisce about that. And then I’d hear you know, my, I’d hear my grandfather, say, oh, you should have heard about Charlie Parker and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So I wonder how much of that is nostalgic… versus, was it really better? You know, but I’m with you, though. I think that kind of 90s was like, the epic. That was an epic time.
Michelle G
It definitely was. You know, when it comes to, I think, to organic dating and what that looks like in today’s world. I think one thing that I’ve noticed, and I’ve seen, I’ve talked to a lot of women clients, that I coach. They say, it’s like, men don’t know how to court anymore, right? And I’m like, men have become lazy. And I’m like, Why do you say that? Well, because now, take example, Bumble, we have to make the first move. So now we have to put in this effort. And a guy can choose to take a step back. And maybe if we are the ones to initiate, he’s just gonna take a step back and let us kind of guide the whole thing. And most women that I coach, they’re like, that’s not what I’m looking for. So I’m curious, from your perspective, Paul, and from the people that you’ve interacted with, and you’ve coached and you’ve interviewed. Is it true? Do you think that men have become lazier because of the app? Can you hear that?
Paul Brunson
You know, this is such a great question. I think we could talk about this for five hours. So I have a lot of thoughts on this. Right. A lot of thoughts on this. My quick answer is yes. On average, I think that, on average, right? I think that men, AND the ladies, I think that we all have become lazier in our approach. And it’s because of technology. If you think about the example that you just gave, which is a great example, is the one of… You’re walking down the street. Well, someone has to see you; they have to then run across the street to you. They have to walk up like, that is more effort than just swiping, you know what I mean? That, like, that by itself, without them even saying anything to you. So, have we become lazier? Yes, as a collective. But the one area that I don’t think we talk about enough, is that while we see marriage rates going down, while we see divorce rates going up, there are certain categories of the populace in every nation in the world that has sustained marriage rates, that have, you know, sustained divorce rates or mortgage, mortgage, a divorce rates that have dipped. And you also see people in those categories putting in the work. You know, as a matchmaker for a decade, right? It’s fascinating when you see a man come into the agency, and they are ready for marriage, right? When they’re ready for marriage, they’re willing to literally crawl on their knees across the country, if you could put the right person in front of them. Like literally, that’s the type of work; they will crawl over broken glass, right, for that person. But why? Because they’re ready. The reason why I think we as a collective around the world, we say… Ahhh… people have gotten lazy, or men have gotten lazy, is because most people are now into casual dating. There’s less desire to actually be in a committed relationship. These are all drivers behind people not wanting to put in work because they don’t have to. But there’s still… and this is very important for everyone to really know, and this is… I’m speaking from–I have seen this, right? This is, this is experience… is that there still is a significant number of people, women and men, who are willing to put in the work and who do put in the quote unquote, work, who do court, who do properly go after someone in what you would call, you know, a traditional fashion.
Michelle G
Right. And I think it’s interesting that you, you talk about and say as a collective we’ve gotten lazier and I agree. Oh my god, we don’t even want to, we have drive thus, right? Everything now has a drive thru; Starbucks has a drive thru. Why? Because we don’t want to get out of the car. We don’t want to walk. We want to save time. And it’s, and I think that it’s a matter of us taking a step back and being like, Okay, is it really that guys are lazy? Or how am I contributing to also being lazy? Am I just wanting to sit back and wait for everyone to, for the guys to do all the work? And I think too, what plays into that is we have different learning styles as well. This is something that I talk a lot with matchmaking clients, coaching clients, and I’m sure you’ve heard it. There’s research that actually supports this. There’s five different types of learning styles, and we have to educate people on these different types of learning styles. Because sometimes in the organic approach that we would like for someone to approach us, or even in online dating, how a person messages is a reflection of their flirting style. And then everyone doesn’t have this ha ha ha hee hee banter, or that little batty eyes kind of learning style. Some people are very polite, and there’s very sincere and it takes them a little bit longer to warm up. So I also think that we kind of have to take a step back and recognize for ourselves, how do we flirt? How do we send off those signals? Right, so let the person know, hey, come talk to me. I’m interested in you.
Paul Brunson
100% 100%, which is, which is why something that I know you preach, and a lot of our friends who are in the modern dating industry preaches is why all relationships really begin with self and an awareness of self and understanding. What is your personality? What is your attachment style? What are these things? You know, the best time to work on your marriage… This is something that, you know, I say over and over and over and over and over again. And not everyone gets me when I say it. I say, the best time to work on your marriage is before you get married. That’s the best time to work on your actual marriage is before. And for those who get it. They say okay, Paul, I’m with you. So what do you do? What do I have to do? Well, it’s what you and I are talking about right now. It’s becoming aware of self. It’s really understanding how you operate, because once you get into that relationship, it is then 100% about how you effectively communicate. And a lot of that communication is, you know, your strategy around communication, your understanding around communication. All of that happens prior to you, you know you getting married. So absolutely, it begins with self. And you have to be aware of self first.
Michelle G
I love that. A healthy relationship always starts with you. That’s the truth of it. I say that to people all the time. So definitely agree with you on that. You brought up marriage. Let’s talk about the lockdown. What is… What are relationships, committed relationships, going to look like now, this post-pandemic. I know, when the pandemic hit here in North America, they were saying, Oh, my God, divorce rates are spiking. All of a sudden, all these issues that have been put under the rug are now surfacing because these two people are having to be in quarantine together. And for other couples, it was actually a really great time to reconnect. And then for some, it was business as usual, because they both worked from home; nothing had really changed. So in your opinion, how do you see committed relationships changing in this post-pandemic world?
Paul Brunson
Yeah, I think they are going to change, I truly believe that committed relationships will change as a result of the pandemic. And my prediction is they simply become stronger. I think that’s the most succinct way to say it. And the reason why is because we now understand the value of being in a relationship. And we understand now, not just the value, but the cost of being in a relationship. And it’s not just being in any relationship. We understand the value and the cost of being in a good relationship. You just mentioned the “business as usual folks”. We also understand the value and the cost being in a bad relationship. And for a lot of those relationships, those couples that broke up, you know, I actually am happy for them. And the reason why I’m happy for them is because they got out of bad situations, situations that they may have stayed in, and you know, and been in for another 15, 20 years, before they came to the realization… Oh my god, I’m with the wrong person.
Michelle G
Right.
Paul Brunson
You know, I’m a firm believer that the divorce rate is where it is not because of, when you look at the list, it’s like, you know, bad communication, you see finance is a problem, you see infidelity, right? No. Most of the divorce rate comes from the fact that you have two people who have no business being in a relationship or in a marriage. That’s the reason why the divorce rate is where it’s… where it is. And so, I think that we eventually become stronger, not substantially. But I think there’s a small uptick of becoming stronger. Why? Because we understand the value now. And we understand the cost of being in a relationship.
Michelle G
How was the pandemic for you and your wife? You travel a lot; you live between the United States and the UK. You have two beautiful kids that you homeschool as well. So was it business as usual for you guys? Did you guys have to adjust? How was that whole experience?
Paul Brunson
For us it was a blessing. I mean, on the real. I’ve had more sex in this last year than I probably have had in 20 years. You know what I mean? Yeah, it’s, it’s, it’s… been good for us. But it’s because of what you said… We already had that structure. We already work together. We already have our kids, you know, in the home because of homeschooling. We’re traveling back and forth. Also, within the pandemic, my business didn’t change. Now I’ve shot three TV shows in the pandemic. It’s one of those where we’ve just had to adapt to what has happened. But things haven’t substantially changed for us, with the exception of more sex. Like, that’s the biggest difference is, you know, with the pandemic.
Michelle G
That’s so funny. So more sex; pandemic equals more sex. Let’s hope post-pandemic equals just as much.
Paul Brunson
I want to only keep this going. When everyone was like, the vaccines. I was the only one say, I don’t know about this vaccine, guys. Yeah, maybe no. But, but yeah, it’s, it’s, we, you know, it’s interesting, because a lot of our friends will come to us and say, wow, you know, we’re struggling because we we, with my spouse all day long or my kids are here how do, how do we cope? And then we’ll be you know, we’re giving suggestions based on past experience. But think about this. Four years ago, we were kind of considered the odd ones. Homeschooling? You work together? What? Husband and wife…
Michelle G
How can you be at home all day with your partner? Don’t you get sick of them and then they come on the weekend too? Don’t you need a break?
Paul Brunson
You get that too, right? Yeah, but you but you turn around and you say… No. When you’re in a relationship with your best friend, then…
Michelle G
It’s different.
Paul Brunson
It’s different. It’s a joy, right?
Michelle G
Yes.
Paul Brunson
So then it goes back to… Well then maybe you’re not in the right relationship.
Michelle G
And here’s the thing, the foundation of any long, thriving, flourishing relationship is friendship. And then you said it right there… best friend… is friendship. And you know, people talk about communication is key. And I say, you know, people will be like, Oh, that’s such a cliche. Okay. So the problem is, and the reason that it’s hard sometimes to really set that foundation is when you’re listening and communicating to respond all the time versus listening and communicate, to understand your partner, because that’s what really begins to forge that foundation. I spend with my husband seven days, 20, almost 24/7. You know what I mean? And then when we, when I have to travel, like, I’m getting ready to travel, he’s like, Oh, you’re gonna leave me and I’m gonna miss you. I’m like, I’m gonna miss you, too. But you know what, we’re gonna talk on the phone every day, we’ll FaceTime. And for us, like, I legitimately miss him. Even sometimes when he’s here. I legitimately miss him. I’m like, Hey, baby, you went out to do some stuff today? How are you? Like, I miss you. And he’s like, Oh, thanks. You know, and it’s, and what it comes down to is, we have built a really great friendship. Now. Don’t get me wrong. I have my temper. He’s got his temper. He’s got his personality. I’m sure you and your wife have your personalities. But we’re able to work through it. It’s about knowing how to work through it, right?
Paul Brunson
Yeah, it is. And what I love about what you just said, you said something I thought really powerful. You talked about how you’re in the house with your husband, he may go out for just a few hours, and miss him, right? But this is the reason why not only is technology dangerous, but pop culture is dangerous. Because that message that you just gave is one that I full heartedly agree with. But pop culture thinks different. You know what pop culture says? You must be needy. Oh, you Oh, he, if he just goes for a few hours, and you… Oh, you’re needy? No, you love him. Right? And this is where, you know, you talk about, well, how does, how does that touch with technology? Well, these type of messages of… Okay, if you go, if you miss your husband for a few hours, right, technology will… Well, someone will say you’re needy. That type of message will get retweeted a million times. Yeah, that type of message will get shared, right? Because if it bleeds, it leads, right? That’s kind of how we operate. We share things that are…and then we… Exactly, then people see it enough. And they say, Oh, this must be how you operate in a relationship. You shouldn’t have to miss anyone. And that, you know, then they go. And so you can see where technology, because this is technology proliferating that, technology can become very dangerous, very dangerous.
Michelle G
So I’m curious to know, and you know, changing chapters. So I’m changing subjects here, I’m curious to know. You work with celebrities. A lot of women and men, they are high achieving, high achievers, high performers, they got their life together, they’ve reached a pinnacle in their career, everything is going smooth sailing, and now they’re ready to share a partner with. Some of the women and the men that I coach and I matchmake, they’re looking for that celebrity-type status person. What can you share with me about a celebrity in terms of… Are they really like real people? You know, you see them in the US Weekly magazines? They’re like us, right? And what are they looking for when it comes to a partnership or a relationship?
Paul Brunson
Yeah, I this is where, I mean, we need another couple hours for this. You know, this is? This is my quick answer. Right is so so… One of the most successful shows I’ve been doing for the last couple of years is called Celebs Go Dating. And it’s really about myself and my partner, Anna Williamson. And what we do is we help the UK’s, you know, most eligible celebrities to find partners. And one of the things that I find most interesting about that, right, so we’ve now worked with dozens and dozens and dozens of celebrities, and then their celebrity friends will come and ask us for help after the show is that a lot of it depends on how caught up the celebrity is in their celebrity. This is very important. Right? So you’ll find people who have been in the celeb-… So one is, let me just say this in terms of like celebrity, there’s social media influencer, etc. But then there’s, okay, you know, I was in a boy band for you know, 10 years and I’ve sold-out arenas, like there’s like that level of, of celebrity. And what’s really interesting about the highest level of celebrity is that there’s a lot of emotional challenges and issues and self-awareness issues. Because it’s very hard to understand who you are, when the public sees you for one thing.
Michelle G
Right.
Paul Brunson
Knows you for one thing, and you are compensated based on that one thing. So then you try to play up that one thing. So then you begin to forget about the 99 other things you are, right? So these are real issues. And this is the reason why when you look through these celebrities, and you say, oh my gosh, you know, the divorce rates are much higher, infidelity is much higher, right? Therapy, right? There’s much greater need, even though everyone needs a therapist, but there’s much greater need there. Why? It’s because of that. So that’s the reason why I say it depends on how wrapped up the celebrity is in their actual celebrity. And why you will often see celebrities who were maybe famous five years ago for something, right? Now, they’re ready for a relationship. Why? Because they fully have found who you know who they are.
Michelle G
[Inaudible]
Paul Brunson
Exactly, exactly. But, my short answer is this… I would say that you really, when you’re looking for someone, I don’t necessarily think you should you should pinpoint say I want a celebrity, right. And we could kind of debate what that means. But when I think about celebrity, I think of someone who has widespread notoriety, right. Instead, what I think you should do is, it’s or it’s acceptable is, you could look for someone who’s world class, someone who’s world class doesn’t necessarily mean they’re celebrity, right? I’ve had clients who, you know, run a $50 million business. You think, is that world class?
Michelle G
Sure.
Paul Brunson
Absolutely. Less than, less than, less than 1% of 1% of entrepreneurs run a $50 million US plus business. That makes that person world class. And these are people who don’t have an Instagram. You know, you wouldn’t walk down the street and be able to point, but they’re world class at something. I think that people who are world class, whether it be in their business, in athletics, in whatever it may be, these are folks who I think it’s okay to want to be in a relationship. Because if you’re in a relationship with someone who’s world class, you’re in a relationship with someone who has the highest level of ambition, and maybe value ambition. They have a high level of you know, if they’re, you know, I don’t know in art, high level of creativity. So they’re the highest level of that. So going after world class. Yeah, that makes sense. Going after celebrity. Very dangerous route.
Michelle G
Interesting. I think people get blindsided by all the glamour, the glitz, the paparazzi, the headlines, you know what I mean? And to be honest, I’ve worked with a couple of celebrities from here in North America, you know, different different reality shows and just coaching them in their love. And, and you’re right, they do sometimes the… How involved are they in themselves doesn’t allow them to see the areas or the places where they’re really falling short, you know, or other areas where they need support in, right? But, like you said, they get paid for that one thing. So it’s like, if I explore this other aspect of myself, that’s going to change me and I’m no longer going to be able to produce revenue based on this.
Paul Brunson
Exactly. And we know, dollars make sense. A lot. They drive a lot.
Michelle G
Absolutely. Well, before we wrap up, Paul, I want to ask you, what is your number one love tip for modern dating in a post pandemic world?
Paul Brunson
I say, understand self. You know, it’s, it’s that simple. I won’t even go the self-love route, which I do think is very important, but I think just become aware of who you are. Become aware of the things that you love, become aware of your values. Become aware of your personality type. Take a Myers Briggs; understand, are you an introvert or an extrovert? Do you… Are you a thinker? Are you a feeler, right? Become aware of self: your flirting style, your communication styles, right? The more you can become aware of self, the more actually… Let me even say this… The more you become aware of self, the better decisions you make. The better decisions you make, the better life you have. So it begins with becoming aware of self that lends itself to making better decisions, and that lends itself to having a much better life.
Michelle G
Listen, I see the production team here, you know, taking pens and pencils and everyone’s writing down. So that was definitely a golden nugget. Thank you so much for sharing that, Paul, and for taking time out of your schedule to be with us. I know you’re a really busy person, but I really appreciate it.
Paul Brunson
I can, I gotta pick you up real quick. I love your energy. I love your passion. I love the love that you have for your husband. And the fact that you share that, you know, without any hesitation. We really need more of you out here. So thank you for being you.
Michelle G
Oh my god. Thank you, Paul. And with that, let’s go ahead and say a wish… Good vibes to Paul as he gets ready to head back to the UK. Thank you so much again for coming on the show.
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