Dating today can feel like trying to solve a mystery with only half the clues. You’re vibing, the chemistry is there, the conversation flows—but are they really into you? Or are you reading into things that aren’t there? In a world where so much of our communication happens behind screens or curated profiles, being able to read someone’s real-time body language is an underrated superpower.
Whether you’re meeting virtually or in person, your ability to interpret non-verbal signals can help you feel more confident, avoid wasting time, and spot red flags before you get emotionally invested. Subtle cues like posture, facial expressions, gestures, and eye contact can reveal what someone’s really feeling—regardless of what they’re saying.
In this video, internationally recognized body language expert Blanca Cobb joins Matchmaker and Dating Expert Michelle G to break down the art (and science) of reading body language on a date. Blanca shares practical tools that can help you tell the difference between nervous energy and deception, how the halo effect can cloud your judgment, and what to look for when someone’s words and actions don’t quite match up.
You’ll also learn why gut instincts matter more than you might think—and how to tell when to lean in versus when to pull back.
If you’ve ever walked away from a date thinking, “Something felt off, but I can’t explain it,” this conversation is your must-watch. Understanding body language doesn’t just help you read others—it also helps you show up with confidence, clarity, and presence.
Watch the full video, check out the key takeaways, and follow along with the full transcript below. These insights might just change how you date from now on.
How To Read Body Language on Dates Summary:
Watch the video and discover:
🔍 How to spot red flags through body language—learn what subtle shifts in behavior may signal someone isn’t being genuine on a date.
💬 Verbal vs. non-verbal cues—understand how to compare what someone says with how they say it to detect authenticity.
🧠 The “halo effect” and gut instincts—why strong chemistry can blind you to warning signs, and how to trust your intuition without losing the spark.
🎥 Tips from body language expert Blanca Cobb—including how to show up confidently on virtual dates and read others even behind a mask.
Dating Can Be Confusing…
Success is dependent on your ability to be a keen observer of body language on dates to better understand your date comprehensively. Some dates will be a home run and others, not so much. Nevertheless, every date and interaction—no matter how brief it can be—is part of the journey in learning about yourself.
At Incredible Love, we make dating effortless. Ready to meet your match? Join Incredible Connections and let’s see who we have for you.
Video Transcript
Michelle G
We’re out there, we’re dating. One of the things that we do is we talk a lot, we flirt a lot, but what is the body language really saying? What is it that we could learn and get to know and look for to make sure that the person that we’re sitting across from—whether it’s on a virtual date or it’s a person that we’re out on an IRL, in-real-life, date—we can go ahead and pick up those subtle movements, those subtle little things that can really make a difference on whether or not you are on a date with an ideal partner, or someone who could potentially not be as genuine as maybe they’re leading you to believe.
And today, I’m so excited to invite a friend and an internationally recognized body language expert, Blanca Cobb.
Hey, Blanca.
Blanca Cobb
Hola, Michelle! So good to see you. Estoy bien, gracias.
Michelle G
Oh, I’m so happy to have you here. Blanca, you know, I know that you are an internationally recognized body language expert. Share with me a little bit about your journey—how did you get into body language?
I mean, that’s such a very niche expertise. And I will say, it really does take a person who has a detective-type of mindset to be in that field.
Blanca Cobb
That’s a great question. When I was a little girl, I was abused. And I spent a lot of my childhood scared, and I didn’t know who I could trust. But one way to protect myself was that I started watching people. And I quickly learned that when you start watching people’s reactions and their movements, they unknowingly reveal who they really are and their intentions.
And I had no idea that surviving the trauma of my childhood would lead into a successful career as an internationally recognized body language expert.
Michelle G
Wow. And now you teach people what to look for and how to make sure that the person that’s in front of you is actually… their body language matches what’s coming across in their language, right? In their verbal language?
Blanca Cobb
Absolutely. So when I grew up, I went and got a master’s in psychology, and I studied and trained with very reputable and well-respected body language experts and detecting deception experts. And so what I’ve done is I’ve combined the two, and that’s how I got here.
Michelle G
Awesome. Well, you brought up deception, right? So I want to ask you—here’s a scenario…
Blanca Cobb
Yep.
Michelle G
Guy and gal on a first date, right? They have chemistry. Research tells us that when we have chemistry with someone, you know, and we’re starting to feel maybe those… all those love hormones, if you will…
Blanca Cobb
Mmm-hmm.
Michelle G
…like this part of our brain shuts out, right? Which can lead us to miss some really important cues. We’re on that first date, great chemistry, the conversation is vibing—what are some signs that we can look for to make sure that that person is not being deceitful, to make sure that they’re being genuine?
Blanca Cobb
That’s an excellent question. But first, let me talk about the halo effect, because you started bringing up when you’re in love, and you only see the good—and that’s exactly what happens when you meet somebody. So whether it’s love or lust initially, you know, that’s debatable. What happens is, you look at the good in somebody.
So if you have this really good impression of somebody when you first meet them, then guess what? All those other interactions—you’re gonna keep looking for the positive, seeing the positive. You’re finding what you’re wanting. And so that’s what we call the halo effect—because you’re only going to see the good.
When that happens to you, then you become blind, because then you’re not paying attention, or you’re missing vital signs that someone isn’t being honest with you. So one way to figure out if somebody’s being genuine and how they feel is compare their body language to what they’re saying. So in my world, that’s what we call baseline behavior.
This is where you figure out how they typically present themselves in situations that are non-threatening—no reason for them to lie. So as you’re chatting about life, getting to know each other, how do they typically come across? Are they animated when they talk?
Do they use their hands when they talk? Do they look away when they’re answering questions? Do they look at you? Do they fidget?
What is it that they do? And the reason baseline is so important is because when there’s a change in that body language, when there’s a flip in their behavior, then it’s your “aha” moment. Because you know something has changed—you just don’t know what. And that’s when you need to be careful and just ask questions.
Michelle G
I love that you said that. And so many times, when I’m talking to clients, they share with me like, “I can’t really pinpoint what it is, but it’s like, something’s changed,” right? I’m so glad that you emphasized asking questions—because when you ask the questions, you’re able to get, whatever that feeling is, get clarity on what is happening, right? Nobody wants to sit with that—keep that doubt in their mind and just kind of be like, “Well, something’s changed,” and just continue to engage in the same behavior pattern—because then you’re becoming an enabler of it.
Blanca Cobb
Exactly. Exactly. So you want to pay attention. That’s where the baseline—you’re looking for the discrepancy in what somebody says versus what they show in their body language. But some other hints are that you pay attention to what somebody says and the way they’re using their words.
And you have to think about the stories that they’re telling you. Do they seem to be telling you everything? Do they seem to be hiding information? Does it make sense? So you really are a detective. You’re processing what they’re saying… You just can’t believe everything somebody says because sometimes things don’t add up. Let me give you an example. This is an example I use all the time:
So when somebody talks about something that they’ve done, you want to be able to hear the personal pronoun “I.” So when you use “I,” then you’re accepting ownership, responsibility for a thought, or behavior, or a deed. So for example, if I say, “You know, I got up this morning, I took a shower, and I had some breakfast”—what are you hearing there? “I, I, I.”
Very different than if I say, “Got up, took a shower, had breakfast.” Then you’re not hearing the “I.” So then what happens there? Then you’re like, “Hmm…” That should give you pause, because someone isn’t taking responsibility.
So I’ll tell you this—the biggest problem that people have is that they don’t believe what somebody tells them. They believe their interpretation of what they heard. And that’s gonna lead you down a rabbit hole.
Michelle G
Absolutely. I love that you brought that up, because a lot of times people—and I tell this to clients all the time that I coach—I’m like, people will show you who they are. Whether or not you choose to see what they’re showing you and what they’re telling you, that is a choice that we are making—whether you’re making it consciously or subconsciously. But people will show you who they are through their behaviors, through their actions, through their body language, through how they speak.
So I love that you said that. What happens if it’s nerves? Like, I know that sometimes I have clients who are socially awkward, and when they’re gonna meet someone, they have so much anxiety—so their body language could be a little bit off. How can we make a distinction between, “Oh, it’s just that this person’s nervous and a little bit anxious,” versus “No, this person is actually, genuinely trying to mislead you”?
Blanca Cobb
That’s a great question. And here’s the answer: when somebody is nervous, usually it’s at the beginning of a conversation when they’re meeting you, so their anxiety can be really high. What happens over time, when they’re more comfortable—the anxiety should decrease.
And the more comfortable they are, the less worrisome body language you’ll see. If someone’s being shady or trying to hide information or mislead you—what can happen is, when that topic of conversation or that particular question comes back up, then they’re still going to show you those negative behaviors. So that’s a very big difference. If it’s just anxiety, then it’s going to decrease over time when they’re more comfortable.
Michelle G
There you have it. So if you’re getting ready to go on that first date, and you have great chemistry and you’re excited—listen, I’m not trying to take away that excitement, because it’s super important to look forward to that. But just be mindful. What is that person saying? And does their body also back that up? Or are you… and trust our guts, right?
Blanca Cobb
Oh my gosh, yes.
Michelle G
Or does our gut tell us there’s something off here, right? Because—
Blanca Cobb
Absolutely.
Michelle G
Because our gut really guides us. So even though you’re getting ready for that first date, have fun, go in with a positive attitude—but also use these tips and tools to help you make sure and discern whether or not that person is genuinely sharing with you and being who they say they are.
Blanca Cobb
Absolutely. Gut feeling is incredibly important. Look, we’re born with gut feelings. To have a gut feeling, to have that sixth sense—it actually saves people’s lives.
Think about that. When you get an eerie feeling and you’re like, “Maybe I shouldn’t go down that dark alley right now,” right? You pay attention to it because it’s a warning sign. It’s your body’s defense mechanism to say, “Hey, something may not be right,” and you have to pay attention to it.
Michelle G
Red light, green light, yellow light. That’s why we have a gut instinct.
Blanca Cobb
Exactly.
Michelle G
Thank you so much, Blanca, for sharing that with us. These are just questions that I know I get as a dating expert and as a matchmaker—and things that I coach clients on. But I also know that this is something that just… you know, people need to really pay attention to. It’s not just the words that we say—it’s really the body language that’s behind it that supports that.
Where can people follow you, learn more about you?
Blanca Cobb
People can follow me pretty much on any social media platform @BlancaCobb. So Clubhouse, Twitter, Instagram—Clubhouse and Instagram are my favorite. On my Facebook page and my YouTube channel, that’s BlancaCobb-bodylanguageexpert. You can find me there. Or my website, BlancaCobb.com.
I’d love to share a couple of projects that I’m working on that can help people.
Michelle G
Yes, please do!
Blanca Cobb
One is Emotions Behind the Mask. It’s an e-book that I’ve written, and it helps you read people’s facial expressions when everybody’s behind the mask. So what you can focus on are the eyes, the eyebrows, and the forehead.
So you can get a lot of information here to let you know if someone is feeling confused, if they’re feeling angry, if they’re happy, excited, surprised—a lot of different emotions. And at the back of the e-book—it’s a short read, a simple read, but it’s a good read—and at the very end of the book, it gives you a cheat sheet to let you know what those emotions are and how to spot those quickly.
And because so many people are on virtual right now, a lot of people are dating—people want to know how to come across the best, right? How they can present themselves. And so I help a lot of people present themselves calmly, confidently, and charismatically on camera.
So whether you’re just having a date or whether you’re actually recording—because a lot of people in business are wanting to make good impressions, but they’re scared. They’re scared of feeling stupid, sounding dumb. And so that’s where I come in—because I will bring the best out in you on camera.
Michelle G
Amazing. I love that. Thank you so much for your time. I know that everyone who’s watching got a lot of value from this.
So make sure you check out BlancaCobb.com. Follow her on social media. Trust me—she’s also got some mommy-daughter shenanigans too, which are funny.
Thanks so much again for being here with us, Blanca.
Blanca Cobb
It’s my pleasure—anytime.
