I want to present a relationship question… If you’re a woman who’s been dating a guy for a while, is it appropriate to propose? Basically, should women propose to men?
I ask because the statistics on marriage are a little bleak with a steady decline in the marriage rate among Americans.
But, if you’ve been getting invites to weddings, AND you’re single, you’re probably wondering when or if your time will ever come.
Keep in mind, I’m just posing a question here. Don’t expect me to say one way or another. I’m just curious to know your opinion on whether it’s appropriate to ask a man for his hand in marriage.
Should Women Propose: Taboo?
This is a taboo topic usually met with a “hell no,” which is a little hard to believe.
Well, given everything that’s widely accepted today in our society, it’s interesting that the thought of a woman asking a man a simple (life altering) question is un-lady like.
I discovered that there’s a very old Irish tradition that allows women during leap year to propose to men. It was highlighted on an episode of The Rachel Ray Show where she was looking for women who were willing to propose to their men.
Sure, it was great for TV, but how do women fare with this in real, everyday life? If a woman truly loves her man, does it matter who asks first?
Some women will admit that they can’t let go of the idea of being “pursued” for marriage and prefer to wait for him to ask her.
But as more things are expected to become equal in the relationship—women making the first move by asking a guy out on a date, going Dutch, splitting the bills in the home—should women feel just as “obligated” to propose, if they feel the time is right?
How Do Men Feel About Women Proposing?
This answer depends totally on the guy. But, according to Bradford Wilcox, director of the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia, when a man asks for a woman’s hand in marriage, it shows that he is completely committed.
Here’s the thing, a marriage proposal is submerged in tradition that has so many meanings for both the man and the woman. For the man, it’s about him showing vulnerability and being ready to commit. Because of this, some men may feel pressured or rushed by the question.
Then there are men who are truly honored by the question. For whatever reason, they never got around to asking and are glad that their lady stepped up and proposed. If anything, he admires that she was able to put her pride aside to show him just how much she loves him.
Relationship Risk for Women
Some women may fear that if she asks and he agrees that he’s just doing it to keep the peace. She may also fear that it makes her seem desperate.
So, what do you think? Should women propose to men?
Let me know what you think below.