So… you see someone who strikes your fancy, but you have no idea what to say to them. Sure you’re great at striking up a conversation with people in social or business settings.
Something strange happens when the person you want to talk to also makes you weak in the knees.
You don’t want to sit on the sidelines too nervous to make a move. Nor, do you want to start off a conversation with boring clichés that lead to awkward silence. You want to be cool, confident and transparent in the situation.
Why people don’t start conversations…
The biggest reason people are nervous to talk to someone they like is fear of rejection. They fear that the other person won’t see them as desirable. But, don’t run away.
Here are some great conversation techniques to help you break the ice with someone you’re attracted to and minimize chances of rejection.
Technique #1: Find Common Ground…
When someone first catches your eye, try to immediately find at least 1 thing in common that you can compare. It can be just about anything whether it’s hair length, certain color clothing, or the drink they’re having. This actually benefits you in two ways. First, it helps you have something to talk about when the two of you do speak. Next, it helps you get out of your own head by reminding you that they are human just like you.
Once you’ve identified that, you’re ready for technique #2.
Technique #2: Smile and say hello…
This may seem like a no-brainer, but while you were mustering up the courage to approach the attractive stranger, you probably didn’t realize you were actually giving long awkward stares that were borderline strange. Snap out it. Put a smile on your face and say hello and not one of those manic smiles either. A gentle smile will do. Research shows that people are likely to talk to someone who is smiling.
Technique #3: Remember it’s a two way conversation…
After your initial introduction, remember to keep it a two way street. In a nutshell, you don’t have to feel pressured to dominate the conversation. Ask open questions that require more than a yes or no answer from the other person. If they’re worth your time, they’ll give you more detailed responses anyway.
Technique #4: Don’t talk too much…
This one is an extension of number 3 above. Remember how I said this was a two way conversation? Well, when it’s your turn to speak don’t drown them in mundane details. Try to keep the conversation focused on the highlights of what you’re talking about. You don’t want to see the other person’s eyes glaze over.
Technique # 5: Do it once a day… 😉
Just like with anything, the more practice you have the better you get at it. For that reason, I suggest you get yourself into the mindset of talking to people who you don’t know, but would like to get to know.