If you’ve experienced heartbreak and find yourself struggling to make sense of what went wrong or what to do next, this article is for you. I’m going to share with you what heartbreak really means, why it’s a good thing that it’s happening to you and how you can move past the hurt and into a place of harmony and contentment faster.

Heartbreak: The Stories

We all have stories that involve broken hearts.

Stories of love had and love lost. Stories of letting “The One” get away. And, stories of being madly in love with someone who just didn’t feel the same way about us. Almost all our love stories start off filled with romance and bliss. Then, seemingly unexpectedly, your relationship takes a turn and eventually ends, sometimes even without rhyme or reason. The turmoil that follows is what we typically call “heartbreak”.

Everyone’s heartbreak story is different.

My own story of heartbreak

My story isn’t much different than most. Before becoming a Digital Matchmaker, I was a U.S. Marine working with top diplomatic leaders all over the world, helping them build relationships and streamline their struggles in communicating with one another. During this time, I was married. However, after a few short years, my marriage failed and it ended. I was heartbroken because of my divorce. But even more impactful than my divorce was the fact that I had become a sought-after professional in diplomatic conflict resolution, yet I was not able to apply the same skills in my own marriage. I was ashamed.

This led me on a path where I had to:

  1. Take a deep look at my behavior patterns – what I did right and where I got it wrong?
  2. Spend time learning more about myself (no matter how uncomfortable), and…
  3. Invest the time and resources to improve how I resolved interpersonal conflicts.

Today, I’m happily married to the man of my dreams. This time around, my relationship is much stronger because I took the time to know myself better and to let go of past hurts. I learned to take my conflict resolution skills and apply them to how I communicate in my marriage.

Facing my struggles is how I overcame my heartbreak. If I hadn’t had the courage to do that, I wouldn’t have been able to clear room for new love to arrive, let alone someone 10x even more amazing.

Mistakes People Make When They’re Going Through Heartbreak

One of two things usually happens when a person experiences heartbreak:

  1. They get angry and close themselves off to the world… or…
  2. They become needy and constantly look for someone to fill their void.

What To Do Instead, So You Don’t Attract Losers And Loneliness

When you experience heartbreak, I challenge you to stop and assess how are you feeling. Are you angry? Do you feel jaded? Is your heartbreak pushing you toward “fixing” something? If you’re experiencing any of these emotions, then you might be reinforcing behavioral patterns that could potentially attract losers or put you in a situation where you’re continuously feeling lonely.

Instead, assess what happened in the relationship and use the new available “me” time to find your true source of pain so you can heal from it. The healing process requires investing your time and effort (and sometimes even money) to see what went wrong, to explore what decisions or behaviors got you to this point, and how to move past it and into a more prosperous relationship. 

Heartbreak: The most important question to answer…

How do I move past the heartbreak and into the kind of successful relationship other people are experiencing all around me?

Glad you asked because the secret is simple and works like a charm!

This is the same secret I used on myself and with all my clients… It’s the main reason they’re able to express a new and better version of themselves in less time they could’ve ever imagined. Not only are they able to find love, but they also experience wild success in other areas of their life, too.

And, here it is….

Spend time with yourself.

That’s it…And, I don’t mean spending a weekend alone in some dark room up in the mountains somewhere. I mean spending months in self-reflection, digging deep and doing the work necessary to clear out old values and beliefs that might be holding you back from attracting a loving person that will respect you and won’t hurt you again.

This is actually a very simple concept that actually fulfills one of the most basic of human needs…


When you work on yourself, you make room for more than just a “nice guy”… You could purposefully attract someone 10x more amazing than what you ever thought possible without wasting your time going on date after date because you gained the most elusive of all feelings: clarity. 

Once you do the inner work that will bring a new sense of clarity into your life, you will make better decisions and will start to live the life you deserve. You are now in the beginning stages of giving yourself the true gift of love.

3 ways start your inner work:

  1. Slow down your dating (or, even stop it all together)… Focus on “you” to see the best results.
  2. Start scheduling “me” time. Use this time to reflect on where you are and where you want to be.
  3. Find a coach to guide and support you during your spiritual cleanse. This person will allow you to vent when necessary, will create a plan with you, and will guide you to find what you seek.

Now, I’d like to hear from you.

Have you ever experienced heartbreak? Did you give yourself space and time to heal?